I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
