So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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