why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
