oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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