You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
