hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
