the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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