I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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