Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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