She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
