Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
