Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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