Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
