just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
