i would punch a child for taco bell
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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