the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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