she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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