I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
