Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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