She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
