is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
