Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
should my penis look like a turkey
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
