I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
