tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
