the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
