She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
