I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
