She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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