My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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