I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
