had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
