I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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