to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
