Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
