shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
