I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
