i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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