that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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