I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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