soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
