She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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