It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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