she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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