How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
