I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
