I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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