Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
