We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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