is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Shame - the story of my life.
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