drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
